The World…

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    So I’m super excited to be looking into going back into the work world. I think this is what i was trying to do when i started my Jewelry business….  Don’t get me wrong I’ve really enjoyed it a lot!!  But the past few days i’ve sat down, did the numbers, the pros and cons, and so on. And i’ve come to the decision to wave the white flag. I’ll still have my Facebook page up and do orders if someone wants something but I’m no longer going to go to Vendor events or keep stock on hand. It’s been over a year…. it’s time.

   I’ve also told myself that i’m getting rid of my scale…well put it away anyways… i’m no longer going to look at it! It’s just depressing me. Instead i’m going to work out at least 5 days a week, go walking every day, and work on my eating habits….Also going to look into finding a Dance studio closer to us if possible so Hubbie and i can go back to dancing! I love it!  And i think that’s part of it… I need to work on doing things i enjoy…but also not let them rule me….like sitting around with a book…it’s good but not to do it all the time and never get moving.

  I read an interesting passage this evening that kinda going along with the many things i’ve been thinking about lately. I’ll share it….

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 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”  -James 4:1-3

    It’s a pretty intense passage. I don’t think I have fought or quarreled about the things I’ve wanted…. or have i?  I had to sit back and think about that and then I realized i had! I fought with my husband, I’ve thought mean thoughts about others, and i’ve had arguements with my own self over this whole business thing!  It’s the same for the next part too… it may say Kill….and it probably did mean that but for me it’s not literal…. it’s metaphorical…it goes to my thoughts and anger. Don’t forget that it says in the Bible that  “‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’[c] 22 But I say, if you are even angry with someone,[d] you are subject to judgment!” – Matthew 5:21-22. 

   As i sat and thought about what to do i realized with this decision to start my own business i never did the most important thing…I never asked God about it…not seriously anyways. See God loves giving us our hearts desires…but we must do it in His timing and ask for His help.  I didn’t do that! So i guess i doomed it myself.  Because it says that we need to have the right motives at heart as well when we ask… again i don’t think i did. I just wanted it for myself and for my earthly wants.

    I have to say that in looking for a job now that i have a lot of peace about it… sure i’m nervous and excited but i also feel peace. I do want it so that i can get out and away every now and then…. but i also want it to help out teachers, to help out my family, and to teach. I have still done a lot of work in looking at other places… but everything keeps leading back to a “yes” so far with subbing at the schools.

     So for now i’m happy with this path I’m on… never know God might send me on a different one yet but It’s been interesting where He’s heading me right now. It’s always fun and interesting when i find a verse that makes me think and helps me make decisions!

Anyways….. just my thoughts for today!

Frog

weariness….

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     Today I am Weary! At first i thought it was my depression sinking into me again. But as i sit here and exam it closer… i realized it was more weariness then anything else. If you have ever dealt with depression you know how hard it can be to “feel” any emotion but sadness and despair…but here i am and able to think and process and know that that’s not what i’m feeling right now. NOPE! Well there might be a little of that lurking in the background but i’m working on pushing that out of my way until i can work through it.

        I just feel overwhelmed, underwhelmed, stressed, bored, excited, and afraid all at once and i guess that has led to this deep down bone numbing weariness. So many things going on around here, it being summer and the kids are out of school, plus looking for a good part time job, then having to look for a new Life Group (sunday school class) four ourselves and putting ourselves out there, trying to work on also my jewelry business (it’s not going so well really, the only time i have customers is at events…no orders means no business) , also family stuff, and lastly adjusting to a new place and the budget for the new place.

     All of this has made me just a little uncertain and lets face it a little crazy about everything. Then someone posted a verse today…and i was like “that is soooo me!!!”

28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”” —-Matthew 11:28-30

I always forget this verse…. it’s the most helpful verse but it’s the one i forget the most. I so need to go down on my knees and hand it all over to Him as i so can’t do this…. the more i think about it the more i become frustrated and angry. That of course won’t help at all… except to make it worse! So i loved having this reminder today to just take a deep breath and know the God’s got this!!!

Just a few thoughts for today.

Frog

Back! and Progress….

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       It’s been awhile… but it was a good break! On this break I focused on a lot of issues that i have been struggling with. Mainly my Depression, Self Worth, and Driving Anxiety. But i also started to work on an addiction that i just recently found out i had. Well i had an idea that i probably had it but had no idea how to work on it as there was no real group or anything for it. Well I finally told my counselor about it and she gave me a book and from that book i learned there was a workbook for it, I ordered it and i have been working through it with my counselor and let’s just say that when you try to get rid of one addiction another seems to come to the front of the line!

      One of these days I’ll be comfortable saying what my addiction is but for now just know it’s a struggle, and it’s not fun at all.

    But enough of that!! Let’s talk of good things… Like for the first time in 3 years i finally drove from my home to a location that is 20 minutes away (i drive kinda slow) and back with no other adult in the vehicle with me!!! I”m just totally stoked that I did it finally! I learned that i seem to have a slight (and i mean slight) case of PTSD or so the Doctor says so about driving. When he first told me i was like, “but i’m not in the army, i haven’t had anything major happen to me! Sure i had a muscle spasm and little accident right on top of each other but could that really trigger PTSD?”  He told me yes, specially in someone who is already struggling mentally with a lot of other things. And i was. So new meds and finally pushing myself off that imaginary ledge of “can i do this?” and I did it!!

       Now it truly is exciting that i did this but to my mind… i didn’t. That imaginary ledge also had another name, “Am I Going To Trust God?” That ledge…that question…that was scary! It tied into my Self Worth issues. I didn’t think God thought i was important. I didn’t think I mattered. I didn’t think I was the treasure, princess, or child that God wanted in His Kingdom. I mean if I had all this insecurity of “does my husband want me?”, “my kids don’t want me”, “No one wants to be my friend really,” how could God want me? I sunk myself into the Bible and really started to read it. Then we had a sermon about “are you a Fan or Follower of Jesus?” I really looked at the difference between the two, and saw where i had been. You can say you are a follower all you want but if you are not living it then all you are is talk and no action. You’re a Fan and Not a Follower!

       I started to let down my guard around God and started going to Him for everything, I started putting myself out there more….I started trying to make friends again, I started putting effort into my physical appearance, I started to reach out to help or do projects i normally wouldn’t think to do. It has been wonderful! I still struggle though, I still think of myself in a negative light some mornings, so I open my Bible and it now automatically opens to the book of James…The whole Book to me talks of being a Fan or Follower…how we should be acting and so on and to me it’s just a comforting Book to Read.

And so with that my verse for today comes from there….

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 Dear brothers and sisters,when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” James 1:2-4

The first verse can be a hard one to read…he doesn’t say “only these kind of troubles” nope… he says ANY KIND! We have a bad day? We should see this as an opportunity for joy! Now there are some things that should be grieved and processed before getting to the Joy…but I think we should look for that Joy in all things! Like my experience for example…when i’ve gone to recovery groups or to counseling they didn’t automatically say “well you should be seeing the joy in this right now!” No…they worked me through the stages of grief, anger, and so on and now finally I’m seeing the Joy and the good that has come out of these situations. And i think THIS is what they meant, they didn’t say BE Joyful…no they said “Consider It An Opportunity!” Meaning it will be coming, just not right away. SO I think we can be able to see the Joy in somethings right away even though they seem bad and sometimes it might take some healing first before we can finally feel that Joy.

 In the second verse it talks about our Faith being tested. It has taken me a long time to know that it is NOT God that is testing me! God is not tempted, He will NOT tempt you! I finally know who is tempting me…Satan. He wants us to fail, He wants us to fall on our faces…and I’ve done so, many times! The thing is, I think we can do the second part “..endurance has a chance to grow” when we pick ourselves up, call it what it was (Satan or our own Human selfishness) and work hard to not only to get back on the right path but to make sure we are not tripped up like that again. Some times we need help with this. We need a friendly person to come along side us to remind us to be watchful and to put God first and not our human nature.

Third verse reminds us to let it grow, we shouldn’t ever stop trying to better ourselves, our Faith, and our knowledge of God’s word. It says that if we are fully developed then we’re perfect and needing nothing. My thoughts on this is if we are perfect then we are no longer on this earth. So from this I get the idea of while we are living we need to be constantly watchful, constantly learning, constantly growing in our Faith. By this i mean we seek God in the morning, at lunch, and before bed…. and all those times in between. Making sure to read the Bible at some point in the day, and to reach out to others that are around us. I can be just as bad as anyone else with this. Lives get busy, children’s needs need to be met, there’s work, there’s that evil Facebook with all it’s cool games and people with pictures on it. Haha!!

What i get from all this is that we all struggle, it’s what we do with those struggles that mean the most. No one is perfect! Christians’ are NOT perfect…I personally know that i am broken…and because i know that i know i need God and because i need Him I know that i need to work on me every day.

        I hope you enjoyed reading this, hope it may have helped someone or at least got you thinking.

Frog

Where We Stand..

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      Today i procrastinated a bit… my husband was home sick and spending some quiet time with our toddler just watching cartoons, so i took the opportunity to work on re-painting our living room. I got it about halfway done and felt really proud of myself. Until i realized i was procrastinating to sit down and read my devotional and work on my blog. So i put things away for the day and hopped to it so to speak.

     The devotional for today talked about standing firm in your life. Either it be a Faith thing, work related, home related, friendships, and so on. It made me think of all the times i was wishy washy on where i stood with my faith because i didn’t want to churn the waters and just wanted to keep the peace. It made me think of saying yes to a paint color i really didn’t like just to please my husband and to finally paint….when we are this way it doesn’t turn out well at all! Like with the paint, saying yes to it made me bitter, it wasted money, and it led to arguments and then my husband feeling angry and bitter as well. See… nothing good came out of that…except maybe as an example. Ha!

       Today’s verse is again a short one but i think it’ll be just as good.

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“Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong.” 1 Corinthians 16:13

      “Be on guard.” I looked up other translations and they had you or your added in to it. It made me think that this isn’t about being on guard for other people but Yourself! When you read it like “Be on YOUR guard”… to me it says that we need to be watching what we are saying, doing, and bringing into our lives. We need to stop a moment and say “this is not healthy for me” or “this is NOT what i believe in and i can not give in to it”.

      “Stand firm in the faith.” This was the almost the same in every translation. I guess no matter how you want to say it it’s that simple. If this is your Faith…then you need to stand firm in it! Don’t be all “well i believe this part of it… but not this part here”.  What does that tell other people? That you don’t trust this thing you believe in. If it was me i wouldn’t want to be a part of something someone isn’t sure they even want to be a part of it.  We need to STAND firm. We have to stand and be sure that this is what we want and model that.

       “Be courageous.”  I think this is telling us to not be afraid again. (like we talked about in the last blog) I could totally see the author standing there like a coach or something saying “Let’s do this! DOn’t be afraid! Fight for that win!” Doesn’t this mean violance? i don’t think so. I think it means that it means standing up and pointing out to a person that what they might be doing is wrong.  Like morally wrong. If you see someone cheating on their marriage, or on a test, or on their taxes. If you see someone physically or verbally abusing someone then lets stand up and be couragous and say “hey! i don’t think that’s right!”

        “Be Strong.”   Could this mean physically? Possibly. But i don’t think that’s what they are going for here. I think they are meaning that we need to be just that…strong but in the spiritual since. We need to work on equipping ourselves for daily onslaughts that might be trying to bring us down. We need to cloth ourselves in that full body spiritual armor. Making sure we are reading His word, understanding it, going to Church, having those close Christian friends that help lift us back up when we feel beat down. It’s making sure we are putting safe and healthy boundaries up for ourselves.  I think this is what it means when it wants us to be “strong”.

     I don’t know about you but i definitely need to work on these areas! Lots of good things to think on and how to put them in place. 🙂

I hope you have enjoyed reading! I’m no professional…but i am a woman just trying to learn more about the Bible and love sharing that with you!

Frog

Worries…

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     Worries… we all have them. Some of them turn to anxieties. Some of them cost us trust. Worries can be such a pain to our daily life. So this verse is about them… i don’t have anything else to say about it… i think that covers it nicely. Let’s go for it…

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Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 1Peter 5:7 NLT

  Pretty short sweet and to the point right? Well i had heard this verse before but from a different translation and i loved how it was phrased in that so i’ll post that one as well.

 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. KJV 

We’ll use both translations today. Because i think if you just use the one you loose a little bit of emphasis.

So looking at the word “Give” or “Casting” …..I see the word Give as you are Giving something to someone, you’re not going to ask for it back, you’re not showing it to them or borrowing it or so on…. no you are GIVING this over….so it’s going to stay that way.

   So then look at the word Casting….   A guy from my church had an awesome way of putting this. you think of it like fishing you are CASTING the line. You’re not handing it over, you’re not gently putting it out there, and you’re not undecided about it. You’re THROWING that thing out. I love that.

Then you look at the next part. “all your care” or “all your worries and cares”.  Now we know what we are giving up or throwing out. We are not going to hold on to these…we are getting rid of them! Not just once.. i get the distinct feeling the author knows we are going to have to keep doing this over and over until we finally get it right. (just like in casting a fish line)

  Next is “to God” or “unto Him”… So we now know who we are to be giving these over to. God, because who better to give these problems over to then the very Heavenly Father that knows us in and out, knows our fears and struggles better then we do? I think it’s the best person to handle them indeed!

The last part they are both the same but for one word. “for he cares about you” or “for he careth for you”.  It leaves no gaps…He CARES…and because He cares for us that much He wants us to put all of our worries, fears, pain, and so on on to Him and not dwell on them.

As it says in the devotional… what a sweet and wonderful promise that is!  It may be a small verse but it means so much that really you can’t over look this verse. There are many small but mighty verses in the Bible…Though i may not have a long post that day I’m sure…that in the end there will be a great reward in their meaning never the less.

Frog

The Start of Fears…

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   Now this isn’t a post about how Fears starts…nope! This is a post about how i received a cool devotional in the mail yesterday that i had forgotten about. It’s a 30 Day Devotional about FEARS! Woohoo! I mean seriously…this is totally for me! It still amazes me that I went from being a woman with no fears about driving, loving it to pieces really, to a woman that can’t drive past her son’s school about 2 miles away without flipping out. It’s a constant heartache and headache for myself and my family.

So this and some other fears spurred me to buy/donate to get this devotional that i saw on the Proverbs 31 Ministeries’ website. After i wrote yesterday’s post, I knew i wanted to keep going forward but i was floundering for what to write about. Nothing seemed to jump out at me or say “write about me” when i read things. I felt like i was forcing it.

Anyways…then the devotional came and i got hit in the head with an idea of taking the main verse for the devotionals and writing or breaking them down so i could better understand them. 🙂  So that is what I am going to do for the next month or so.  Enjoy!

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I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Phillipians 4:12-13

Let’s see…

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything…”  To me the word “live” is said with an exclamation mark. “I know how to LIVE!” It’s like the author is saying he has found the secret to life… how to make it wonderful no matter what. So you already get a glimpse of what this verse is all about. Then it talk about “on almost nothing”, so this is talking about not having anything, being poor or destitute. To me i think this is telling us that the author understands these problems and is telling us “save it, I’ve been there and experienced that…you can’t tell me that i don’t understand, because i DO”. In other words…Leave your excuses at the door. Ha! 

But then he mentions “or with everything”. So is he trying to say that having everything is not all that it’s cracked up to be? Is he saying that we don’t know how to live when we don’t have to worry? I kinda think he means both of those. There’s that silly saying “More Money, More problems” and i think that fits here….I’ve never seen a truly happy rich person. Have you? If you have please tell me… i’d love to meet them and ask them questions. But i digress, we have two opposite ways of living and the author states he knows how to LIVE (probably meaning how to be thankful) in both of these situations.

I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.”  Well here he is stating with authority that, yes he does know exactly what to do. But look closely, he doesn’t say he KNOWS, nope he says “i have LEARNED”. To me this means that there was probably a lot of trial and error… probably emphasize that error part. I love how he puts “the secret of living”. I think it’s his way of making us lean in and make sure we don’t miss this next part. 

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”   Well there you go. Right there in black and white is the secret to living. Take a look at the word “through” … he doesn’t say with…but THROUGH Christ. To me, I think this means that as long as we go to God first and don’t expect our way to be done that He will be there and help us. But only if we seek Him and petition HIM before each day. I think it also means we may not always like the answer either…He may tell us to wait or that awful “NO” word….But even if that is the case He’s still going to give us that peace to keep going. 

That last part just helps confirm that. “who gives me STRENGTH”…No matter what, an anxiety attack on the highway, or a lost spouse or child or friend, or a marriage falling a part, or an abusive situation, or just a bad day at work…. NO MATTER WHAT!! He will give us the strength to deal with, to get away from, or to grieve the loss. He’ll be right there shouldering our fears and our pain. He’ll be there even when things are going right..to enjoy and celebrate those as well.

I don’t know about you but reading that and understanding that makes me feel a hundred times better and all warm and gooey inside….like smores….mmmm.  God’s promises are like Smores. I think i might copyright that and slap it on a t-shirt to wear every day! LOL!

 

Hope you enjoyed this!

Frog

Broken But Not…

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    As I’ve stated in previous blog posts, my husband and I went through a really difficult time several years ago. We are finally working on it and seems to be working. But there was a time i was just BROKEN!! I cried for days…loudly, quietly…I did so while screaming into my pillow, I shamed him and myself with hateful words and bitter venom. All it did was tear us more a part. I was hurting and i didn’t know how to talk with him anymore.

Well one night as a last ditch effort we went to a group thing called ReEngage…It seemed ok and so we joined and started to work. Then during one of the group session parts they played this song by Casting Crowns called Broken Together. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhxELo-uD3c ) <this is the official music video for it>  I thought how true this is! The whole song is about being broken and chasing dreams and fairy tale endings but really in the end aren’t we just two broken people trying to make it work?

Then this last month i watched an online study about marriage by Andy Stanley called IMarriage.(you can find it on youtube too)  Wow was it an eye opener! What stayed with me the most was when he said something about how if a desire of our heart is causing us pain and anxiety we need to go to the Lord and say to HIM..”Lord, this desire is important to me. It’s causing me so much pain. I’m giving it to you.” He states at one point that God wants to grant us the desires of our hearts but we need to bring them to him daily and wait on HIS time.

The reason i bring these two things up is because i realized i had desires, I would hint at them or turn them into expectations for my husband to fill up and do.. see the problem? I was bringing them to the wrong person! This led to a lot of brokenness. I still  today have these desires and still feel broken in this area….but it’s different now…i KNOW who to bring it to this time, and it’s the one person who truly knows and understands brokenness!

And with that it brings us to our verse which is about Brokenness. 🙂 see what i did there? LOL!

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   The verse i have today is Galations 2:20 NLT version:

“My old self has been crucified with Christ.[a] It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

Let me start with that first sentence. “My old self has been crucified with Christ…” To me that word crucified really sticks out. To truly understand this word i went back to Luke 22-23 and John 18-19 to read about Jesus’ Crucifixion. If you’re not familiar with those chapters, read over them..it’s very enlightening. SO through that reading i learned how painful that way of dying is. When i hear that my old self or “old way of life” has been “crucified” with Christ…it just tells me that the transition is not going to be fun and games. People might yell at you, make fun of you, bosses may give you a hard time, loved ones may shun you….but this is WITH Christ. He’s done it already…he was ridiculed, beaten, broken, and most of all…loved ones turned their backs on HIM. No one but Jesus could understand the pain we may go through!

“…It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me..” Again I’m drawn to certain words, “no longer I who live” ….wow. Now i don’t think this means who we are dies….no no. We’ll still have those heart desires, we’ll still feel the draw of our passions like music, drawing, numbers, computers…no what i think they are talking about here is all the bad stuff. Our sins of our past, the overwhelming desire to do wrong, the way we used to look at the world or just people that were around us. Once all of that is gone then Christ (Holy Spirit) can come in and be there with us always. Whispering to us when making decisions, lifting us up when we feel like falling, but most of all being there so that we are NEVER truly alone! That makes me feel so much better knowing that I’ll never truly be alone again!

So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God” This here i feel like it is summed up in the last part… trusting in the Son of God….By trusting in Him i will be able to go through life a lot better.

And lastly… “..who loved me and gave himself for me.”  I believe this goes into the common verse of “He loved us so much He gave His one and only Son to die for us.” Not only did God love us so much but Jesus HIMSELF loved us sooooo much that He went through that painful process physically, emotionally, and mentally for US. I mean…who else would do that for me? We say things like “I’d die for you” but do we mean it? Most of the time…NO.

      So in a nut shell… because Christ was crucified I can know that i will have help to live this earthly life until the day He calls me home. Now I know you all are probably wondering what this has to do with my brokenness and marriage i had talked about in the beginning of this. But don’t you see…. if i had had this verse when i was broken and crying, i would’ve know that i wasn’t alone… that Christ knows what my pain feels like and wants to comfort me? Oh how this would’ve saved me so many nights of pain. Oh how this will help me in the future to know that these heart desires are just as important to God as they are to me and that He will be with me through the pain and hurt until the time they may be answered.  Just gotta also remember that my answer may not be 100% what i WANT it to be.

Frog

Getting It Right…

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     This morning i woke in a very bad mood, totally ticked off with my husband. What’s funny is i was mad at him for something that had happened in my dream and he wasn’t guilty of at all. Ha Ha!!  Isn’t it just crazy that even before we open our eyes Satan is already there doing his tricks and making sure we can’t enjoy what God has for us?

So here i was just stewing and getting madder and starting to pick a part everything from last night and setting up what i was going to say and do and all this kinda stuff and then BAM! I see the verse i wrote down last night to do today. And boy do i need to sit down and meditate on this one! So let’s get to it!!

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    The verse for me today is Psalm 86:11….maybe you already know it, it’s one of those “famous verses”, but for those of us that don’t here we go:

“Teach me your ways, O Lord,
    that I may live according to your truth!
Grant me purity of heart,
    so that I may honor you.”

   Ok, don’t know about you guys but seriously just reading it was like a wake up call! It makes me sit up straighter and want to read it over and over again! It makes me feel my heart and soul cry out and say “YES! I want that!!” Let’s break it down though so i don’t miss anything.

“Teach me your ways, O Lord….” I look at this and want to put “your” in all caps! This first part just really nails it in. Put lets look at the context a bit. For this i went back to the two previous verses:

All the nations you made
    will come and bow before you, Lord;
    they will praise your holy name.
 For you are great and perform wonderful deeds.
    You alone are God.”

    For me, with this information i can now know WHY i would want to learn from God! Look at that first part. Nation YOU MADE, will come and BOW before YOU! Here we know that HE made us…with the next two parts we know that we will want to praise HIM. Then lastly that last line tells us that He can do all things and only HIM ALONE can do this.

     Ok back to verse 11. Well with that knowledge we now know the why, If He can do all that, if He made us, then of course we would desire to learn from HIM!

“…so that I can live according to your truth!”  When i read this it gave me a second reason for wanting to learn from Him. If I am learning from God then in my mind it would be a lot easier to live a good and right life. It goes back to yesterday’s verse. As long as we are in HIM, learning, reading, taking the time to soak it all up then everything falls into place spiritually. Does this mean you’ll win the lottery? Or your marriage will be magically fixed? Sadly no. BUT you will have a new way of seeing things. It’ll no longer be up to you solely, you’ll have someone fighting right along with you! Now this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep trying to better yourself…not at all! Keep working on YOU! Only YOU can change YOU! But leave the other person to God. It works out so much better! Trust me… I totally understand!

     Ok I’m starting to ramble again Ha!  Let’s move on to the next part.

“Grant me purity of heart…” Here this tells me that no one has purity of heart….no one. we must ask for it, it must be GRANTED to us! This also tells me that I need this in order to live in His truth and learn from him. That purity of heart if a really be key for us!

And lastly “…so that I may honor You.”  This is important to me…In the end all of this together is to HONOR HIM!  What if we were to read this verse like this:

I honor you, by asking for a pure heart, living according to your truth, and learning your ways!

Look at that! To me doing these three things i bring God so much Honor! Not only do i bring Him honor, but i get to be closer to Him and soak in more knowledge and be prepared to face the day in a whole new light!

    How can i put this in my life today? Well going back to the beginning of this post….instead of letting Satan have my first thoughts this morning, i could’ve sat down and said “God give me a pure heart today! Let my THOUGHTS and WORDS and ACTIONS honor you! Teach me Lord to give these hurts over to YOU as soon as i wake each morning!”  Oh if i had started my day like that, my day would and can bring me so much JOY!

I hope that this may have Blessed you in some way! These are just my thoughts… they don’t make them right, or wrong… they are just my thoughts.

Frog

The Sickies…Plus the new beginning

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    The allergy season is always hard on our household. My husband and middle child are in a constant allergy med haze, my oldest and I tend to not show signs until it is too late and we have a respiratory infection, and then our youngest goes from allergies to teething fun every few days.  As a mom you sometimes have these thoughts of  “Man, I should buy stock in cough medicine (or allergy)”. During this season i think this often, just a fun little thought of “buy right before allergy season and then sell right after…we’d be set!” Ha Ha!

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     All this to say that this morning’s goal of waking up and starting into my new routine got sidelined a bit due to oldest staying home sick and the youngest not feeling well so he was up and being a normal toddler (think key word is destructive). I often describe cleaning with M awake like “Brushing your teeth while eating oreos”, in other words…pointless. LOL!  When he’s not feeling well it is a lot worse. S seriously praying this passes quickly and he’s back to his happy fun self again soon.

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  Ok enough of that, let’s begin! The verses for today are Ephesians 1:18-19, I use the NLT version so i’ll put that here.

18 I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.[g]

19 I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him.”

So going through this phrase by phrase and seeing how it applies to us and what it could mean more deeply.

“I pray your hearts will be flooded with light…”

Though i prefer to read for myself the New Living Translation, it is nice to go to the NIV version and see how it is worded there so i don’t miss something. It reads “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened”.  Ok wow. So light and enlightened are meaning the same for me here (wisdom, knowledge, understanding). But look at the NIV version. It has “eyes of your heart”, this makes me go huh, my heart doesn’t have eyes, so what could he be really meaning. I think here he is meaning the desires of our hearts be opened to the Lords wisdom and understanding. Our understanding is so limited with our human brains that we want and need to allow God’s understanding to come into our hearts so that we are more open minded and understanding to the things around us. (remember this is just me trying to understand…there is no right answer here)

In the very next words “…so that you can understand the confident hope…” gives me an AHA! moment. Ok so light could also re a reference to what kind of understanding, meaning we don’t want just any old kind of knowledge…but GOOD, PURE, RIGHT understanding. THen if we have that then we can understand “Confident Hope”.  Confident, well some other words to mean that is “positive”, “self-assured”, “assertive”, etc.  To be confident it means you know you have it. Ok so if we look at it this way ” I pray that your heart has good open minded understanding so that you know that you have Hope” wow. Reading it that way makes me feel so much better! i KNOW i have Hope. Awesome!

“…he has given to those he called..” Now with this added to it it now shows to me that i can’t have this understanding unless HE has given it to me. Without HIS understanding we can not be confident in having Hope. Oh that makes me a little sad. If this had been my teenage self reading this i would’ve felt defeated, knowing i could not do it myself, i would need to lean on HIM for this. I was a strong willed, independent little girl…hearing i needed to wait and relay on someone else would’ve rubbed me the wrong way! So good thing i didn’t hear it till now! Now this gives me joy, knowing i DON’T have to do this alone. There is someone waiting to have my back and to help me. Again…wow! Love this!

 

“…his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.”  Oh now that is awesome. So if we are his children…we are his rich and glorious inheritance…oh that is so sweet! To me this means that this understanding can not be taken away…it’s set.  The only way i could get rid of this is if i myself set this off to the side and tell him “i don’t need you, i can do it myself” That makes me feel safe and secure in this knowledge. What about you?

Ok last verse. Let’s do this and then I’ll write out all together what i think it means and how it’s special to me.

I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him.”  This feels like a complete thought or phrase so lets go back to the NIV version and see if it’s a little different. “and his incomparably great power for us who believe.”   A little less wordy and seems to sum it up nicely! SO here we can also understand and KNOW that we can have great power through HIM for those of us that can be called His Children. So not only will we get his knowledge but also his power to help us through our daily lives so long as we stay with him and allow Him into our hearts.

What a great and wonderful promise! To apply this to my life I’m hoping to dig deeper into His Word every day i can so that i can find and apply more of these promises!  We’ll see what new verses i find in my reading later today that i can post for tomorrow.

 

Hope you enjoyed this! If not please feel free to tell me how it can be better. (unless you’re just going to be rude…then please feel free to practice the “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” rule.)

Frog

Movie: Mom’s Night Out….

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   The other night i sat down and watched Mom’s Night Out. LOVE this movie! I can sit down and laugh and cry with this movie WITH my kids! They of course don’t understand the humor behind it…but i do.

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   My two favorite parts are when Ally is talking with Bones in the Police Station and the ending scene with Ally and her husband at the bowling alley. Both of them touch my heart in special ways.

   For the scene with Bones, Ally is seating there and telling him how she’s messed everything up and how she is the worst mom and that her kids could’ve had better then her. Bones goes on this long and deep story about his mom and God. The best line is “Ally you just need to be the best YOU you can be and let God do the rest”. OH! Profound! How often as Moms do we sit and rip ourselves up into tiny little pieces? How often do we sit there and compare ourselves to that mom that “looks” like she has it all together? (Because let’s face it no women with kids has it all figured out…no way!) How often do we sit there and judge another mom on how she did something wrong? On and on the list goes. We compare, judge, and badmouth ourselves and others so much it’s a wonder we have time for anything else..especially raising our kids.

   Here’s an example: A Christian radio station that i listen to posted on their Facebook page today a funny video of two toddlers being caught in the act of spreading dry baking flour all over the house and the mom is videoing her reaction and the mess and she’s not flying off the deep end and screaming at them. The comments that i read made me sad. Things like “where was she?” “how irresponsible of this mother!” “I’d never let my kids do that!” “She should’ve been watching her kids better!” Oh it broke my heart! People….. it’s FLOUR! It will clean up…. it’s NOT toxic! A special memory of something that yes the kids shouldn’t have done and the mom making into something funny was instantly turned into this debate about how SHE messed up and was a horrible person.

It all goes back to that line… be the best YOU you can be. no one else. YOU! and only YOU! don’t try to change a person… it’s not going to work….give advice if it’s being asked for…but otherwise we all need to stop and work on ourselves and make us the best we can be before we decide to crucify someone about THEIR choices. (this goes for family things as well!)

The second scene…where Ally’s husband Sean is trying to tell her how he sees what being a mom is… she’s going on about it’s hard, difficult, crazy…. and so on. But finally she let’s him finish and he says “Being a mom is IMPORTANT”. Oh wow…  Again we are so quick to sit here and complain about how hard and difficult being a mom is… but really it’s the most important thing in the world.  They throw in the saying “the person that rocks the cradle rules the world”. It’s true. Without moms we wouldn’t be here. These tiny people depend on us… they love us no matter what! (yes even teenagers or preteens that scream they hate you…they love you as well!) They look to us on how to behave, how to dress, how to cook, how to live life! Even when we’re not looking they are and they are learning from us on how to be a human being. our role in their lives are sooooo important! Now don’t get me wrong… moms and dads are not perfect some of them give up… trust me i know! Don’t let that shape you…let it TEACH YOU!

   Oh how i love this movie! The teachings you can pick up from it… the great laughs you can let go and know that someone else has been down that road! I love the fact that it’s a good wholesome movie with nothing nasty in it and seems to be a #1 on a lot of peoples lists! Wish movie companies would get the hint and make more movies like this one!

Anyways… just wanted to share this fun little thing… was a great break from moving craziness!

Frog