What do you do when you realize the people around you are taking advantage of you? Or when others are around they compliment  you, but as soon as they leave they give you backhanded insults?  What should we do when that old “doormat” feeling comes up at home? with family? at work?

As a Christian, I know that I am to love ALL. No questions. No if ands or buts. It was not a suggestion in the Bible… it was a COMMAND!   A lot of people get confused about this. That because you love someone you have to “LIKE” them too.  Wrong! Ok think of it this way… Do you have a sibling, parent, uncle….whatever that you love them but at times you just can NOT stand them? Yeah? Ok it’s like that. I love my neighbor…but i don’t particularly like them…specially when they stare at me and whistle at me in a demeaning kinda way. I still love that person. If he were to come over asking for help you bet i’d be helping him!!

The thing is…it’s been getting harder and harder to Love no matter what. The Love and Like are meshing up and becoming a ball of frustration and strong dislike. It’s easy to get that way anymore. Someone gets offended, you mess up, or forgiveness is thrown away.

While thinking on all that has happened this past week, going over the conversations, looking at what my actions where and those of others….I realize that there is an underlying FEAR.

That’s right… I’m talking about it again. Because seriously FEAR is SUCH a big part of our human nature!

We can all let that evil word hook into us, wind us all up and tangle us so deep in it that those little words that those fears whisper to us start to sound true. Legit. Concrete. REAL.

We’ll stand there and we’ll shout or sputter “but she..” “but he..” and sometimes that can be true…but most of the time it’s our Fear of..rejection, not being right, not being in control, not being loved…and so on.  So we’ll take those on. We’ll become control freaks. We’ll become “doormats” so we’ll be loved.


You might be thinking… where is she going with all of this? What does this FEAR…have to do with LOVE? So I’ll tell you.

You can not LOVE properly…if you have FEAR totally.


I’ll give you an example.

X has a fear of rejection, so when Y has someone come over and they seem to not like X that fear keeps X from reaching out. X can not Love, or be all they are meant to be, because fear is keeping X prisoner.

All of this to say… it’s hard! It’s hard to keep a smile on your face and love those around you when fear is running amok. love

Thanks for reading!!