The World…

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    So I’m super excited to be looking into going back into the work world. I think this is what i was trying to do when i started my Jewelry business….  Don’t get me wrong I’ve really enjoyed it a lot!!  But the past few days i’ve sat down, did the numbers, the pros and cons, and so on. And i’ve come to the decision to wave the white flag. I’ll still have my Facebook page up and do orders if someone wants something but I’m no longer going to go to Vendor events or keep stock on hand. It’s been over a year…. it’s time.

   I’ve also told myself that i’m getting rid of my scale…well put it away anyways… i’m no longer going to look at it! It’s just depressing me. Instead i’m going to work out at least 5 days a week, go walking every day, and work on my eating habits….Also going to look into finding a Dance studio closer to us if possible so Hubbie and i can go back to dancing! I love it!  And i think that’s part of it… I need to work on doing things i enjoy…but also not let them rule me….like sitting around with a book…it’s good but not to do it all the time and never get moving.

  I read an interesting passage this evening that kinda going along with the many things i’ve been thinking about lately. I’ll share it….

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 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”  -James 4:1-3

    It’s a pretty intense passage. I don’t think I have fought or quarreled about the things I’ve wanted…. or have i?  I had to sit back and think about that and then I realized i had! I fought with my husband, I’ve thought mean thoughts about others, and i’ve had arguements with my own self over this whole business thing!  It’s the same for the next part too… it may say Kill….and it probably did mean that but for me it’s not literal…. it’s metaphorical…it goes to my thoughts and anger. Don’t forget that it says in the Bible that  “‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’[c] 22 But I say, if you are even angry with someone,[d] you are subject to judgment!” – Matthew 5:21-22. 

   As i sat and thought about what to do i realized with this decision to start my own business i never did the most important thing…I never asked God about it…not seriously anyways. See God loves giving us our hearts desires…but we must do it in His timing and ask for His help.  I didn’t do that! So i guess i doomed it myself.  Because it says that we need to have the right motives at heart as well when we ask… again i don’t think i did. I just wanted it for myself and for my earthly wants.

    I have to say that in looking for a job now that i have a lot of peace about it… sure i’m nervous and excited but i also feel peace. I do want it so that i can get out and away every now and then…. but i also want it to help out teachers, to help out my family, and to teach. I have still done a lot of work in looking at other places… but everything keeps leading back to a “yes” so far with subbing at the schools.

     So for now i’m happy with this path I’m on… never know God might send me on a different one yet but It’s been interesting where He’s heading me right now. It’s always fun and interesting when i find a verse that makes me think and helps me make decisions!

Anyways….. just my thoughts for today!

Frog

weariness….

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     Today I am Weary! At first i thought it was my depression sinking into me again. But as i sit here and exam it closer… i realized it was more weariness then anything else. If you have ever dealt with depression you know how hard it can be to “feel” any emotion but sadness and despair…but here i am and able to think and process and know that that’s not what i’m feeling right now. NOPE! Well there might be a little of that lurking in the background but i’m working on pushing that out of my way until i can work through it.

        I just feel overwhelmed, underwhelmed, stressed, bored, excited, and afraid all at once and i guess that has led to this deep down bone numbing weariness. So many things going on around here, it being summer and the kids are out of school, plus looking for a good part time job, then having to look for a new Life Group (sunday school class) four ourselves and putting ourselves out there, trying to work on also my jewelry business (it’s not going so well really, the only time i have customers is at events…no orders means no business) , also family stuff, and lastly adjusting to a new place and the budget for the new place.

     All of this has made me just a little uncertain and lets face it a little crazy about everything. Then someone posted a verse today…and i was like “that is soooo me!!!”

28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”” —-Matthew 11:28-30

I always forget this verse…. it’s the most helpful verse but it’s the one i forget the most. I so need to go down on my knees and hand it all over to Him as i so can’t do this…. the more i think about it the more i become frustrated and angry. That of course won’t help at all… except to make it worse! So i loved having this reminder today to just take a deep breath and know the God’s got this!!!

Just a few thoughts for today.

Frog

Judgement…Part 2

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       Tonight as i was driving home i saw a car pulling off to the side of the road. I watched as an elderly gentleman got out. If it hadn’t been so close to being dark and also i had seen him sooner i probably would’ve stopped and asked if he needed help. It got me thinking about some other verses in James.

      It’s so easy to say in your mind…”oh yes! I’m going to help that person!” or to say “well i tithe and help in my church so i’m good”…I’m working on becoming more plugged into my Church that i go to, but i’m also working on reaching out past that as well. When you’re in a safe place it’s easy to help or offer to help a person. But if you’re in an unknown area…driving in the near dark with your child with you….well it’s a little bit harder to reach out.

     By no mean do i mean to be foolish and do something that would lead to you being harmed. Like….following someone into a dark alley…or talking to a stranger that pulls up to you in a parking lot close to dark and you’re alone and only 13yrs old….yeah DON’T DO THOSE THINGS!!! Haha!!

Here are those verses….

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“14 What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone?15 Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing,16 and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?

17 So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.”                         – James 2:14-17

 

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           Such plain and simple words…. If  we say that we are a Follower of Christ than our actions need to say that. This includes doing good deeds. So if i sit back and say “oh i just can’t stop due to my eye sight and someone else will stop” each time i see someone in need of help, then how am i going to be able to spread God’s word? How am I going to show my Faith to anyone?

But it’s more then that as well. If i sit in Church or the Doctor’s Office, or even at my kids’ school and i hear someone is having a hard day and i just say “it’ll get better” and not sit with them, talk, but mainly listen to them and be a shoulder for them then i’m just as guilty as a person that did not reach out to say a Homeless person.

         This whole passage just screams to me to remember that we all need to be that shoulder, that hand that reaches out to help… because if you think about it…if Jesus hadn’t done just that where would we be today? Man, I don’t even want to imagine that! It’s a very scary thought. It also reminds me that i need to be teaching this to my children. They can be so spoiled and greedy at times and it makes me sad.

So I just need to pull out these verses and not only teach them what they say but to teach them by DOING it too.

Just my thoughts and ramblings on these verses……..

Frog

Judgement….

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    So i’ve been trying to write another blog post and it just was NOT sounding right. So i saved the draft and let myself just relax and think. I realized i wanted my view heard, I wanted it to be recognized and acknowledged. That’s just not going to happen in the world we live in today. And that’s ok.

Today i read a devotional by Lysa Terkuerst about being that one that didn’t get invited. Wow…she said clearly how I have felt most of my life. BUt she went on and talked about how we can not let that define us. It’s not our identity….  And i realized that’s exactly what I have been doing. I’ve let it’s define me….I no longer see myself as “Monica, art lover, animal lover, caring person, and just a little zany” but I see myself as “monica, girl not invited, not cared about, in the way, and isn’t worth much.”

      This is such a painful way to see yourself. No worries, I’m working on not seeing myself in this light anymore. It’s a slow road. But it brings me to something that hit me today and that is: How we see ourselves often influences how we treat other people.

       Let that sink in for a moment. And here’s the verses I read that helped me see this.

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“My dear brothers and sisters,[a] how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?

For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting[b] dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well, doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives?

Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn’t God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Aren’t they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him? But you dishonor the poor! Isn’t it the rich who oppress you and drag you into court? Aren’t they the ones who slander Jesus Christ, whose noble name[c] you bear?

Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[d] But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law.

10 For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God’s laws. 11 For the same God who said, “You must not commit adultery,” also said, “You must not murder.”[e] So if you murder someone but do not commit adultery, you have still broken the law.

12 So whatever you say or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law that sets you free. 13 There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.” James 2:1-13

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I know this is a lot so i’m just going to talk about how i feel about these verses and what i got from them.

To me this whole thing tells me that i can not put one person above another…in my home, in my work area, in public, in private…. and so on. I should not make ANYONE more important than another of my human companions. Yes we should show respect to our bosses and leaders (still working on this) but they are NOT more important than say my next door neighbor.This goes for that person that may not have invited you to an event. Just because they didn’t invite you don’t let that person become more important than others…including yourself.

The last part really struck me… if we do not show mercy then God is not going to show US mercy! To me i figured this means forgiveness as well. If i don’t forgive all the people that have hurt me then i’m not showing mercy…I’m letting all those feelings fester inside of me and God is going to judge me on that! That’s a scary thought!! I think this includes all those little times that i had a pang or fit of jealousy that i wasn’t included. We are not to envy…jealousy is in a sense just another name for Envy. So it is something i definitely need to work on!

So…in a sense…no matter who we are, how much money we have, how many friends we have or don’t have….we’re all the same…we’re all important to the same degree to God and we should treat each other the same way. If we let our jealousy/envy, or our hurts rule us than we’re not going to be able to do the main command from the Lord….. “Love One Another, As I have LOVED YOU!”

Anyways…. I know i didn’t touch on all of the verses in this one and i will later on I promise. 🙂 The Book of James is totally worth it.

Just what i’ve been thinking about and learned about.

Frog