This weekend was hard and I’m glad i decided to take the weekend off of blogging. Discovered some things that really hurt and felt vulnerable in other areas and i let it ruin my sunday. Also coming down with a cold. No fun! I almost felt like not blogging today too…but I need to for me. Right there is an example of how fear can affect obedience…if i hadn’t grabbed my laptop then i would’ve let my fears win.
Today’s blog I’m going to take a bit of a different direction. Instead of doing a phrase by phrase break down i’m just going to list the verse and post my thoughts and may add some of what the lady from the devotional wrote and leave it at that. Here we go….
“And she made this vow: “O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime, and as a sign that he has been dedicated to the Lord, his hair will never be cut.” 1 Samuel 1:11
To give a little back story on what the devotional was about… The writer gave a wonderful story about her son and wanting to become a Missionary and had dedicated her kids to the Lord when they were younger, but when it came time for them to follow their hearts to go out in the “field” it was hard to follow through and let them go. In doing so she showed that not only was she not obedient to God but she passed that on to her kids. It all worked out in the end, but it was something to think about.
When i look at this verse i not only see the part of letting go of our kids but i see also the part where we want something so bad: a friend, a good job, a new home, and so on…that we say to God “if you grant me this I’ll….!” How many times do we do this? How many times do we then follow through with our promises? I have to say that i’m not that great at promises. I’m a very forgetful person and it’s only gotten worse as we had more kids.
I think that when we ask for something that is deeply important to us that we plan on giving it back to Him. I mean it’s not ours anyways right? Everything on this earth is on loan to us till we pass away and get our permanent homes in Heaven. I don’t think this means that every time we give it back physically like Hannah did in this verse…but i think it means dedicating it and giving to God the Glory. Like if i prayed for a new job and that job provided for my family then i would make sure that i tithed at my Church so that i could give back to the Lord for answering my prayer. Does this mean that if i do this I’ll get what i want?? NO!! That is not what this is saying.
When i look at the verse i see that first part and know that she was hurting so bad emotionally, spiritual…that it was causing her PHYSICAL pain! I think this goes back to the verse i did a week or so ago about desires of our hearts. We are free to go to the Lord with our desires of our hearts, we can say to Him “Lord, I’m just so broken up about this right now!! Please Lord see my pain…but Lord I want to follow YOUR will for myself.” I think when we pray with our whole heart, but also give it completely over to Him that we please God more than anything else.
So all in all this verse taught me a lot about how my fears can keep me from doing something that is i should be doing… but it also means i could be holding my kids back. It showed me that i need to go to God with my whole heart but also i need to make sure i’m ready for that answer of HIS will. I also need to remember my promises to the Lord and give back to Him when He does answer my prayers with a yes.
I probably could’ve gone into better detail and i might redo this later with a phrase by phrase type deal. But i wanted to try something different this time. 🙂
Thanks for reading!