In The Beginning….

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Wow, it’s been 3 years since i tried doing a “blog”. What is a blog anyways? To me a blog is a live journal where anyone can read it and put their opinions on it. Which kinda appeals to me. I love to journal but ofttimes i forget or walk away thinking i don’t need to anymore. But really when you’re someone like me you need to journal daily, to put thoughts and words that swim around all day in your head on something so you don’t go crazy.

So… In the beginning, there was just me. Putting down my thoughts and seeing if it’s any good.

                                                      me

Maybe what i’ll type out every day will touch someone that needs to know they are not a lone out there. Of course if you get on Facebook then you know you’re not alone…physically anyways. But don’t all these social media sites just leave you feeling drained and emotionally alone? Don’t we all crave those old fashioned friendships? I know I do! If i look at my phone call history the last person to actually call me and want to talk was…..*looks it up* my husband. Before that it was my son trying to get me to bring his lunch he forgot (again) to school. And even before that it was my mom. My call history is filled with companies wanting money or offering services….or close family calling and asking for something.  Every once in a while i will get an awesome call from a friend and they’ll want to do something and i’m just over the moon excited about that!

But here’s the problem… it’s not just my friends that hardly ever call, it’s me as well. “Life is so busy”, i say and keep on moving and going and stay in this tiny little world i have created for myself. Stay home, do some kind of house work, watch toddler and put him down for naps, stay home some more and wait for older kids to get out of school and come home. Then the fighting and refereeing begins and things are forgotten and in walks my husband into all this from a long day at work. By the time we get all things done and get the kids to bed we’re exhausted!  Do we sit down and talk to each other to recharge and get that “Oneness”? Nope! Very rarely do we get that talk time in, instead we plop down on our bed with our electrical devices and surf the endless internet and social media sites.

And here’s a kicker, i have soooo much to do around the house, but i look at everything and it just looks so daunting and just not accomplish-able that i’ll switch off the lights, go to my room, and again pull up to that electrical device and surf. I want to see what other people’s lives look like, it’s got to be better then mine……right? WRONG! So much drama everywhere. Typed out for the world to see. Then i realize am i any better? Nope! I’ll type out and complain about the teachers and school staff at my kids’ school, I’ll complain about how something isn’t fair, or i’ll just type nonsense from my day. Like right now we took in a kitten that shouldn’t have been away from it’s mom, so my posts are filled with it or my kids and they’re craziness. Today i posted about how hard it was to wake up this morning…but then a half hour later i post about how today is my husband and i’s Anniversary. Just silly things!

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      I would love to get back to old fashion relationships. But in this day and age it’s just not going to happen, media is just too in your face and everywhere. But maybe I could be more intentional about MY relationships and pick up that phone and call someone…….or maybe just send a text.

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